My wife and I have been married for 4 years and we have two beautiful kids together. She has recently got in contact with her ex-boyfriend, who is also her first love and they never really broke up, my wife moved to the U.S. where she continued her life without him. My wife was the one that made the initial phone call, she got his phone number from her cousin, who just happen to run into him and that is how my wife found out that he was now living just a few miles away now. My wife admitted to talking to him throughout the day while she was at work (which was almost 4 hours total). I felt uncomfortable with my wife talking so much with her ex and I attempted to tell her how I felt about her talking so much with her ex; however, she got defense with me and we ended up in a terrible argument. The following day I noticed that my wife spent over 3 hours talking to him again while at work. That night I reviewed her text messages and read some messages that he wrote that made me extremely upset. He had wrote messages such as: “It brings me great joy dreaming about you”, “I’m going crazy wanting to see you again”, “I can’t wait to hear your voice again”, and “I can spend all day talking to you”. I confronted my wife about the messages and he wrote and told her that I wish she would stop talking to her ex completely. My wife continues stating that there isn’t anything going on between them, and that she told him that he needs to stop talking like that because she is married. My wife also feels that I am just being jealous and insecure about our relationship. I told my wife that I feel that I am being very reasonable and I am very secure with our relationship; however, it’s not appropriate for her to continue any kind of relationship with her ex. She ha told me that she is not going to stop talking to him because she is not doing anything wrong. Let me also mention that he ha a girlfriend that he has been seeing for 7 years and she is clueless about what is going on, and my wife told me that his girlfriend does not know because she knows my wife and would disapprove. Don’t know what to do. I love my wife and wish not to have this end our relationship but I will not be ok with this continuing. Any advice will help.
No offense women, but sometimes they’re too damn stubborn [as are us guys]. I don’t know if anything is going on besides “playful flirting”, but regardless, I would tell her to make a decision, cute texts or a loving marriage. You are in the right, she’s [please, do not take this personally] being an idiot.
It’s your marriage. My opinion: if you can’t live with her being the way she is, perhaps it isn’t meant to be regardless if it is just flirting, or possibly more than that. It’s a touchy subject. Look after your family and yourself. She doesn’t have to be a part of your family for things to work with your kids. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you have to be unhappy for your children.
Talk to her again. Ask her to stop, tell her how it’s hurting you more than anything and see if she stops. If she doesn’t and keeps going behind your back, separate.
There’s a term for this: emotional cheating
They’re in or starting an emotional relationship. I agree with your concerns. Marriage is probably, I would say, the most important commitment in anyone’s life.
A guy, random classmate, once told me; “Embers can grow back into fire with a little coaxing”. He had the same dream for a girl who married, one kid in the marriage too. They kept and keep communication, damaged him greatly. He doesn’t want to get married, still loves her, will always.
You need to talk at some point together. You two have children. Evaluate. Listen to how she sees you and her. Think of your foundation together, think, just think. You have a lot invested in this. Her too, I hope she sees that.
How is it your wife just found out that her friend has been dating her ex for SEVEN years? I am telling you they are not friends. They may be acquaintances, but they are not friends. If it is a recent friendship and they can’t talk matter-of-factly then there’s something wrong in this.
I would leave the man if I was the girlfriend of seven years. I would want to know. Those are precious years where I could find a man more deserving of me, one that would respect and appreciate me. I would respect myself and leave.
Children are impressionable. Changes in tone or voice can deeply impact. When they get older they’ll play with the idea of her with him and not have the concept of marriage and commitment and your place until years later. It takes a while to develop I think, I hope they grow in a loving home.
I don’t think I would take the concept of divorce easily. I don’t think I would take marriage lightly either. And I wouldn’t want to stay in something damaged and damaging. Evaluate. You will probably have an answer in yourself partly, play your cards right when you are going through this period of evaluating things.
Was sad to hear your story. I didn’t read it as playful flirting. I read it as an emotionally-cheating relationship. Her cousin happened to run into him? Happen to get his phone number? I don’t like it.. not the cousin, the situation. You never know, they may have been in communication before and used the cousin as a story. They might have asked about each other, might have met earlier.
I had the same problem only her EX was overseas. Soon enough I found out about a secret email address. I guessed the password and found out then that they had slept together on at least one occasion. I thought I had it resolved, but I now believe they never stopped communicating. Cause that was my demand after confronting her the first time, she must drop him. Still trying to catch her communicating with him. If I find out otherwise, it may well be divorce, and we have three kids only one of whom is older and out of the house.
I do wish you well. I hope you find the answers you are looking for, the life you want to have, and joy in your day. I believe that if you put something in your mind you can achieve it.
Challenges come into our lives in different forms. It can make you a stronger person. You can overcome hardships if you can find the strength and will to carry on. Just know that there are people that understand you and wish you well on the journey.
My wife is doing the same thing….only with several….the text messages…emails and phone calls are never ending…she says the same thing…nothing wrong with this at all….you should see the messages they send her…WOW…I can say this…if it was me….she would have a fit…..so my solution yesterday was to send her packing….now she is asking if i will continue to pay her bills….such as phone bill…are you kidding???…pay for her phone so she can continue this stuff?????
I can’t believe she wanted you to pay her bills after this? oh my god, that’s crazy!! problem is, you can’t always tap into email.
I wonder how old the posters and spouses are. curious
Do you think people get married before they’re ready? Or in the end it really is that the spouse was just not the type of person to marry, Or do you think maybe something happened along the way and was not the person you were engaged with and married. curious
test message
only if you think your marriage hasn’t been going well and won’t work.
I have almost the same problem. A year ago my fiance had this fling with a co-worker and tried to hide it him on me. whenever he would text her while i was with her, i would ask who it is and she would reply no one. how in the sam hell can no one text message me. Finally it got to the point where she wanted to leave me and i begged her to stay more times than i think i should have. She ended up quitting her job and we moved out of the community. a year later she contacted that same guy and i just told her u need to pick him or me because i am not going through this again. Now for the past month, she has been facebook messaging a married man all day at work. within 4 hours they texts 54 times. she still just says that they are just friends. it took long arguments to get her to see my side of the story and i still feel betrayed. she says that she loves me and wants to be with me forever but how can u be in love with someone but want someone else? We have a child together but i am getting to the point where just one more time of this bull shit and i am done with her for good. What you need to do and what i have been doing is asking the question: do you really want to be with me? if the answer is yes, than tell her why is it that you think it is ok to hurt me on the inside with this type of behavior? the question you need to ask yourself, is the battle worth it?
You need to face reality: she is having an emotional affair with her ex. she is cheating on you, plain and simple. It is actually worse than having sex with him.
There is something strange about women and their first lover or love. It is not rational or logical. Pity the guy they marry – he will never be happy.. If you look carefully, you will see signs about the fact that she is not truly in love with you – critical about little things about you, gets angry at little things you do, lashed out at you etc.
Women are much more screwed up by what happens to them at a young age and it is hard to find a sensible women who has not been fu..ed over and too badly damaged to have a healthy relationship. Married guys complaining about no sex – well, it is just another screwed up woman who never recovered from her first love but still married the sucker.
Try marriage counseling. if she is unwilling, you will need to bail out or face a really unhappy life. This ain’t changing in ten or twenty or thirty years.
Dump her while you are still sane and in good health.
The anonymous guy who wants his fiancee to choose between him and the ex: if you have to ask her to choose you have already lost the game. You are not someone she needs to compare and choose – are not a apple she is picking at a grocery store If you think you have to ask the question, just get away from this lady. you don’t win a woman’s heart and if you are not the apple of her eye – she is not worth anything to you. When you find someone who truly loves you , you will understand the difference, and be glad you dumped this screwed up bitch still in love with her ex.
I ended a one year relationship this weekend because my boyfriend could not let go of his ex-girlfriend. I did not want to give an ultimatum so I opted to talk to him in a peaceful setting and let him know how much it hurt me that he continued to be in touch with her. That talk has been on more than one occasion. He would not friend me on Facebook, noted his status as single, and kept his ex on his page (I doubt she even knew about me). Finally, I woke up and realized I had been disrespected and I deserved far better in life. How can you give 100% in a relationship but your SO give less? How is that supposed to work? Keep your self-respect and find someone who will love you, respect you, and be considerate enough to not cross the line with the opposite sex.
Trust me I know the pain after a year and a half of my wife finding every ex boyfriend on facebook that she has ever had and the problems it has caused our marriage.
Just seeing her day after day persuing these guys leads me to believe the women i onced loved isnt who i am with now. its almost like she is obsessed with reconnecting with these guys and unfortunately most of them are divorced which probably would have been her future if she remained with them but she doesnt look at this way I was always told that were just friends and thats all!! ok sure. I have witnessed everything from cybersex to actually physically meeting with these ex boyfriends while lying on her were abouts.
Most of the guys are always very aggresive in the way they talk with her and are never concerned of a husband or kids that might be involved but yet they make there statements on how they our such great dads while they get there kids once every other weekend, pretty funny I always tell myself. they are just after one thing.
My wife takes it to the point of no return by giving out our home phone number or cell numbers after a period of time which she denies until I bring forth the phone bills and confront her and then she lies more and then i get the I love only you speech while she gets a little smarter the next time on what got her busted this time.
I could never figure out if she really has feelings for these guys or if its just a thrill whichever I give up I focus more on myself and our child and prepare for the end or in my case a new beginning.
I have no sense of personal failure in my marriage or do I depress myself with failure but I have just relized that my wife with the right oppurtunity would be flying out the front door bags packed with no remorse And remember you were told were just friends.
It crushed my heart when I accidentally found out my wide’s been emailing her ex for a year behind my back. Obviously it’s not just regular mails. I have experienced many physical pains in my life but nothing compares to this emotional pain.
I wish I could just run away. The problem is I love her so much. We have 3 children. Sorry I can’t think of a solution.
I HAVE A SIMILAR PROBLEM…I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR OVER 11 YEARS…I KNOW I HAVE TAKEN MY WIFE FOR GRANTED NOW AND JUST REALIZED THIS AFTER SHE WAS HAVING A BEHIND MY BACK FRIENDSHIP WITH AN “OLD FRIEND”. I DID NOT LIKE IT BUT SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD STOP JUST TO FIND OUT A FEW MONTHS LATER NOT ONLY SHE CONTINUED TO TEXT HIM BUT HAD MET HIM SEVERAL TIMES BEHIND MY BACK…NEARLY DESTROYED ME…I LOVE AND TRUST MY WIFE BUT I DONT TRUST THE GUYS..SO SHE SAID I DIDNT UNDERSTAND AND WAS WAY OFF BASE…SHE SAID I OVERREACT ABOUT EVERYTHING AND THE REASON SHE HID IT WAS I WOULD GET MAD….I FINALLY PROVED TO HER THE GUY WASNT JUST DOING ALL THIS TO BE FRIENDS BY HIS TEXTING HER PHONE AND THE MESSAGES HE SENT….SINCE THEN SHE SAYS SHE SEVERED TIES FOR GOOD AND WE HAVE BEEN WORKING ON GETTING CLOSER TO EACH OTHER AND I HAVE BEEN DOING ALL I CAN TO SHOW HER TRULY SHOW HER THAT I LOVE HER AND SHE IS NOT ALONE…..EVERYTHING WAS GOING EXTREMELY GREAT….WE TALKED AND I TOLD HER I AM SORRY THINGS GOT SO OUT OF HAND BUT I WOULD NEVER BE OK WITH ANY GUY THAT WASNT MARRIED TALKING TO MY WIFE ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS AN EX OR SOMEONE THAT WAS SEXUALLY ACTIVE WITH HER B4 WE MARRIED….SHE SAID SHE UNDERSTOOD FINALLY SHE SAID SHE OPENED HER EYES….A COUPLE WEEKS GO BY AND I TELL YOU I FELT LIKE I NEVER HAVE..I FELT MORE LOVE THAN EVER B4….ALL DAY TODAY WE HAVE BEEN LIKE TWO PEAS IN A POD….JUST TWO DAYS AGO ON MY BIRTHDAY I SAID PROMISE ME I NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN..SHE SAID WHAT….I SAID PROMISE YOU WILL NEVER TALK TO OR MEET OR TYPE OR MEET ANY GUY BEHIND MY BACK WITHOUT ME KNOWING…SHE SAID DON’T WORRY THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN…I TOLD HER THAT IT WASNT I DIDNT TRUST HER OR TRYING TO CONTROL HER BUT IT BREAKS MY HEART AND MAN IT HURTS BAD….TONIGHT I WAS OUTSIDE AND WALKED IN AND SHE WAS TYPING IN CHAT ON FACEBOOK WITH ANOTHER GUY FROM HER PASSED THAT WAS AN EX AND IT CRUSHED ME ALL OVER AGAIN SHE SAYS IT IS INNOCENT AND I SAID I KNOW BUT IT IS THE WAY IT HURTS MY FEELINGS….SHE REPLIES I AM JUST JEALOUS AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT…..I HAVE LISTENED TO HER. I KNOW HOW SHE FEELS BUT I DISAGREE AND FEEL IF SHE TRULY TRULY LOVED ME SHE WOULD WORRY MORE ABOUT MY FEELINGS THAN JUSTIFYING SOMETHING THAT SHE WANTS…I MEAN SEVERAL YEARS AGO I WAS TALKING TO AN EX ONLINE AND I LIKE MY WIFE THOUGHT THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT BUT SHE THREW A FIT….I HOWEVER DID NOT TRY TO HIDE ANYTHING ABOUT THAT CONVERSATION FROM MY WIFE….SHE PICKED UP THE PHONE CALLED HER MOM AND THEN TOLD HER MOM THAT I WAS TALKING TO AN EX AND THAT SHE FELT LIKE SHE SHOULD JUST CALL ALL HER BOYFRIENDS SHE HAS HAD CAUSE SHE KNEW I WOULDNT LIKE IT…SHE WAS RIGHT….AS SOON AS I REALIZED HOW IT MADE HER FEEL I APOLOGIZED AND IMMEDIATELY ENDED ALL TIES….SO I REMINDED MY WIFE OF THAT AND SHE REPLIED ” I AM NOT JEALOUS AND I TRUST YOU SO I WOULDNT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH U MEETING OR GOING TO LUNCH OR TALKING TO YOUR EX……WELL LET’S SEE WHEN I DID IT LOOK HOW U REACTED BUT NOW THAT UR THE ONE DOING IT IT’S OK WITH U IF I DO THE SAME BECAUSE U TRUST ME? WELL THAT HURTS EVEN MORE,NOT ONLY DOES IT HURT THAT SHE WON’T EVEN LOOK AT THIS KNOWING IT HURTS ME AND SAY HEY I LOVE YOU, I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU AND YOU AND I WILL NOT COMMUNICATE WITH ANY EX OR GUY WITHOUT YOU AGAIN NOW TO MAKE HERSELF FEEL BETTER SHE HURTS ME FURTHER BY SAYING SHE DOESN’T MIND IF I GO SOMEWHERE WITH AN EX BECAUSE SHE TRUST ME….THAT JUST MAKES FEEL LIKE SHE DOESN’T CARE AN OUNCE AS LONG AS SHE CAN HAVE A FRIENDSHIP WHEN SHE WANTS IT IT DOESNT MATTER HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT. SHE SAYS I DON’T HAVE TO WORRY THIS GUY IS NOT LIKE THAT….SHE SAID THE SAME ABOUT THE FIRST ONE…FACT IS SHE HASNT TALKED TO THESE PEOPLE IN YEARS SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THEM ANYMORE…ARE ANY OF US THE SAME PERSON WE WERE 11 YEARS AGO….I HAVE DONE MY SHARE OF CRAP IN OUR MARRIAGE BUT I ASSURE YOU I HAVE COMPLETELY CHANGED…..I LOVE MY WIFE AND BELIEVE SHE LOVES ME…. I ALWAYS PUSHED HER AWAY BUT NOW THAT I REALLY HAVE THINGS RIGHT IN OUR RELATIONSHIP AS FAR AS BEING A GOOD DAD TO OUR THREE KIDS TO DOING AT LEAST HALF OF EVERYTHING TO HELP MY WIFE AT HOME…I CAN’T UNDERSTAND HOW SHE SAYS SHE LOVES ME BUT STILL DOES THIS AFTER KNOWING HOW I FEEL…….IF I WAS DOING SOMETHING THAT TRULY MADE MY WIFE FEEL LIKE I DO ALL IT WOULD TAKE IS FOR HER TO LET ME KNOW ONCE AND I WOULD DO WHATEVER SHE WANTED BECAUSE I HAVE HER BEST INTEREST AT HEART AND IF SHE CARED LIKE SHE SAYS SHE DOES WHY DO I HAVE TO JUSTIFY MY FEELINGS AND PROVE EVERYTHING TO HER….WHY CAN’T SHE SEE THE IMPORTANCE TO ME? IS MARRIAGE 1 SIDED? IT’S NOT OK NOW THAT U DO IT BUT IN ABOUT 8 YEARS WHEN IT HURTS YOU WHEN I DO IT IT WILL BE OKAY IF YOU DO IT SO I CAN’T SEE WHY UR UPSET I AM NOT JEALOUS OF YOU…COME’ON, HOW IS THAT LOVING AND WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE THINK THAT WOULD MAKE THE HURT ANYTHING BUT HURT MORE….THATS LIKE SAYING I CARE ABOUT YOU WHEN I AM NOT ONLINE CHATTING TO THIS GUY THAT U DONT WANT ME TO CHAT WITH BUT I AM GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY AND U CAN GO TO LUNCH OR TEXT OR TALK TO ANYONE THAT IS UR EX I TRUST YOU…..MEANING IF I OFFER YOU THIS THEN YOU SHOULDNT HAVE A GRIPE I AM WILLING TO SACRIFICE UR FEELINGS HONEY CAUSE I DON’T FEEL UR PAIN AND LET U KNOW THAT I CARE ABOUT U SO MUCH THAT I DONT CARE IF YOU GO TO LUNCH WITH AN EX OR ANYBODY OF THE OPPOSITE SEX…..NO IT’S GO DO WHATEVER BECAUSE I WANT THIS AND UR FEELINGS DON’T MATTER……THATS HOW IT MAKES ME FEEL…..I REALIZE NO MATTER HOW I TRY HOW GOOD I DO OR ANYTHING I AM NEVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH FOR MY WIFE…..SHE TELLS ME I AM BUT HER ACTIONS TOTALLY SHOW OTHERWISE…. I AM COMPLETELY CRUSHED….THINGS LIKE THIS HURT ME SHE DOESNT SHOW ONE CONCERN THEN I AM THE ONE THAT PUSHES HER AWAY…..MAYBE USE TO BUT NOW THAT I WATCHED THIS ONE UNFOLD I REALIZE AND SO DOES MY WIFE THAT WE WERE GETTING CLOSER THAN EVER…..NOW I SEE WHEN SHE LETS ME IN HER HEART SHE ONLY WANTS ME CLOSE FOR A BIT BECAUSE I DID NOT PUSH HER AWAY THIS TIME SHE KNEW HOW I FELT SHE PROMISED SHE WOULDNT AND NOT EVEN THREE WEEKS LATER SHE STARTS AGAIN I DIDNT PUSH SHE RAN I MUST HAVE BEEN THE ABSOLUTELY WORST HUSBAND IN ALL OF LIFE…I KNOW THERE ARE BAD TIMES BUT THERE ARE GOOD LATELY BETTER THAN EVER BUT AFTER ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED…..WELL NEVER MIND MY FEELINGS DON’T COUNT…..SEE I AM A SUCKER I LOVE MY WIFE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH AND NOW I KNOW TO HAVE A GOOD MARRIAGE I GUESS I AM TO BE OK WITH ANYTHING SHE WANTS BECAUSE WHEN I TAKE OFFENSE I AM THE ONE WRONG SO I I JUST HAVE TO MAKE MYSELF NUMB AND START BUILDING A WALL SO I DONT FEEL ANYMORE…DANG I SOUND LIKE A WOMAN
I know what all you are going through….my wife of 8 years has been in contact with one of her ex’s from 13 years ago and I have read all their emails and even printed them off and gave a copy to my attorney. They were telling each other how much they loved each other and even talked a few times about him getting her pregnant. She has no idea I know everything and when the time is right I will be gone and she will be served. I have a program on my laptop which enables me to get ALL emails, passwords and it has been a huge blessing to be able to catch her. She gave it away when she started staying up till 4am everynight and had to get up for work at 7am, so I got curious and did what I had to do. Know that I know what I know I actually hate her now and will never trust her again. I can’t wait until I’m out of here. Grrrrr……Lies, Lies, Lies…typical!!
What’s the progrm that can let see all the emails and password on your computer.
Confront the girlfriend.Tell her what is going on.Start talking to his girlfriend.Even it up.
im a woman who divorced not too long ago. I started sleeping with my ex boyfriend. I just found out im HIV.
My ex husband isnt the one who gave it to me.
With my ex boyfriend the condom broke 4 months ago.
Do the math. Go figure. Life is soooo hard for me each day now.
Post # 18 – you got everything you deserved from your ex – shame on you for what you have done – now you get to live with it.
You need to get your wife and yourself to a professional marrage theropist and get to the root of why she needs to be in contact with this ex lover. Sounds like you have a major problem that is coming to a head. It is so easy to contact and be in touch with ex lovers with social networks and this is causing many relationship issues. Make sure you are doing the right thing at your end as far as your relationship and see where the chips fall. Good luck.
Question? What is mssing in a relationship if one partner finds the need to connect or find someone else?
My experience was that I stumbled on an ex boyfriend on the net, in all innocence sent him an email just to see how he was going.
It went from there – he was living in a different country. I was already in a troubled marriage & he told me the same, so at the time were both open to the emotional relationship – this went on for 18 months until I decided this wasn’t good for either of us. We are both still married but I have made the break from mine – not for my cyberspace friend but to be on my own – what he did was gave me the confidence/self esteem to make a decision I should have made years ago. So my thoughts are: you need to look at your relationship and ask why it happened and either sort it out or get out of the relationship. Don’t dwell on it forever – it will make all involved bitter and twisted. Take your own responsibility in your relationship – but remember it takes two!
wow – I am in the same boat as others. Wife secretly chatting with ex boyfriend, claims it is all innocent, “just friends” etc. I found out and told her in no uncertain terms, if there is anything close to communication with him or anyone else she has had a previous romantic interest in IN SECRET then we are done. Having 2 kids makes this extremely difficult. If my wife is out of love with me I know we can both move on, but we are responsible for our kids and their future too. How she could toss her kids futures aside for fleeting personal gratification, I will never understand. The issue is secrecy. People with things to hide keep secrets. It is as simple as that. For those of you that keep giving 2nd and 3rd chances you are doomed to heartbreak. You are a spouse – not a friend. If your wife/husband respecteed you they would not keep a secret that clearly upsets you. Grow some balls (eggs) and get some self respect. I will forgive my wife once and only once. After that, as hard as it could be, I will divorce. My biggest worry is the effect on our kids. I want the world for them and am so pissed that my wife would so carelessly and greedily think of her own self interest above theirs. And the truly hard part is knowing that she will likely get custody if we do split. I am truly praying that she will stop her secret communications and think of me and her kids this time.
# 18 – No sympathy here. You got what you deserved. You took a risk, rolled the dice and lost. You ex husband is the lucky one and you get to face yourself every day in the mirror and know you f’d up and will pay the piper.
Me and my “girlfriend” (were not in a relationship yet because we don’t live close go each other but were going to the same school in September. ) were in love. We are 14. We talk everyday and have a healthy relationship. I was talking to a girl I used to like because she invited me to a cookout. I told my girlfriend and she got upset and at nighttime , she said goodnight Anne. (Anne is the person I used to like name) so I say goodnight Aaron because Aaron is her ex and she gets sooo upset. Then I apologize and stuff. We get past that. And now , not even a week later , she told me she was talking to Aaron at 4:00 am. She’s o ly talked to me until like 2:30. I was upset and didn’t want to talk so she says “bye”. And won’t answer my calls or texts. Any tips ? Remember , were 14. Idk y she’s upset. HELLlppp please.
I have some problem and I was trying to find out solution. I am married (very happily) and in love with my husband deeply. We have two beautiful kids. Few days back, a common friend of my Ex-boyfriend met me on social networking site. This fellow started asking about that guy and I simply said that I loved him and that was my past. However, this fellow forwarded my mail id to my Ex-BF. When I received his mail, I felt terrible. I replied him saying that I would not like to receive your mails and if you are very interested than make sure your wife is sitting next to you when ever you communicate. This guy sent me mails 4-5 mails, asked my number which I did not respond. I am not bothered at all as I feel today the relation I have with my husband is much stronger than any other relation and the only relation which has similar strength to that is what I have with my kids
. Now my problem is that I am having this feeling that I should tell this to my husband. However I feel that unnecessary he will feel insecure or bad when there is nothing. So my dilemma is this whether I should tell him or not. I will be thankful if someone can help me to deal with this situation.
Wow, Well there is certainly a lot of issues here. None of them are simple as is nothing dealing with the heart. My best advice for those with children is to just separate. Go rent a hotel room for a night, and leave taking the kids with you. You don’t have to tell them where you’re going, but this will hopefully open their eyes as to their “innocent” behavior. I want to say that kids are a stupid reason to stay together. I know so many people who are farked up because their parents stayed together, but shouldn’t have. Kids will understand what divorce is. they deal with half of their friends parents being divorced, so why should you be so special. Really though, You have to do what’s best for yourself, and for the kids. If your spouse isn’t in the marriage for you, then you don’t have to put up with it. just leave. The next day, come home and talk about it. Tell your spouse you don’t want to break apart, but you’re not going to be disrespected that way. Sure they may say you’re just being jealous, but your vows said “forsaking all others”, well that’s what it means. So just leave, come back tomorrow and see if there’s any difference. If nothing changes, then maybe you should look into divorce. I don’t say that lightly mind you. But your health, happiness and the safety of your family is at stake. I would also notify the other woman about it. what do you have to lose in that?
Real quick, I’ll go over a couple comments.
1. yeah, pretty much what I’m saying, separate.
2. Emotional cheating, Yes this is the definition, but as always there are circumstances.
3. You should trust, Don’t “try to catch” it’s either you do or you don’t. there is no try. If it turns out she cheats then you leave.
4. that’s the right attitude. Positive.
11. that’s the right idea.
12-14. Just leave, Separate. it’s what’s best. Be single, get over it. take care of your kids.
15. Yeah, when it’s over it’s over. No love w/o trust.
18. That’s not the positive I was talking about. I hope you didn’t give it to your husband. sucks to be you, but try to keep a positive attitude.
22. Yeah, right on, I agree.
23. You’re 14! don’t worry about it, there’s 100 other hottie girls in your school who’d love to hold hands and giggle and draw your name on their notebook. They don’t know what they want just as much as you dont. So, don’t worry about it, you have at least 10 years before you should be thinking about marriage anyway.
24. Best policy is honesty. Just tell him, you didn’t do anything wrong, and I think you handled it well so just tell him, and preface it with, “I think we should talk…”, so he knows the feces are colliding with the rotating air propulsion apparathis.