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Long story but I’ll make it short lol

I recently found an old friend from 10 years ago. We were good friends and used to hang out quiet a bit. I even spent Xmas with his parents and his Mum said: “you’re going to marry that girl” … anyway, I never knew that at the time. I always put him in the friend category as there was a girl in town at the time then claiming he was the father of her child. So I dare not go there! He tried to kiss me once and I told him I wasn’t feeling it. (It didn’t feel right at the time). We sort of forgot about it and stayed friends. Stuff happened and we went our seperate ways….

I tried to find him 5 years ago and called his phone. A woman answered and she said he was her girlfriend. I said Great, I’m an old friend and can you let him know I called. I learnt years later that when he got home she accused him of cheating on her. I was only a friend, but with two kids, she was feeling insecure. She recently apoligised for this when he told her (they are still friends and have been seperated for 3 years now). So all good.

Anyway! We spent 5 hours talking on the phone about old times and called regularly, messaged etc for a week before he booked a flight to come see me. He met me at the airport with a single red rose and we had an amazing weekend together. Even mentioned the long distance thing until I finished my studies in over a year etc.

A month past and the texts were getting more tantalising and sexual teasing, not so much emotionally connecting like they were in the beginning. They became more friend like as well, confusing to me. I could have over analyzed it though.

One night the pressure got to me over my financial situation, intense medical studies and feeling stuck in general. I guess I became a bit emotional and although I don’t feel I blamed him I said I couldn’t do the long distance thing as it was too much pressure for me. He got sad, and I got sad. I had a few wines and wasn’t thinking clearly. I regret losing it.

Now he is taking time out. He says he wants time and he will contact me. He still wants to see me after Xmas, etc. He says he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone right now. He says he’s not upset with me – but how can he not be, I totally lost it. I must have confused the hell out of him. I feel so bad for this but I can’t take it back.

He wants to be just friends now. He says he’s happy the way his life is at the moment, but somehow I don’t believe that. Why would he fly so many miles and spend so much money? I know it wasn’t a booty call lol

I’m really confused. He wants to be friends and now I respect his wishes. I haven’t spoken to him for over a week. I texted him a friendly message asking how he was? how is work on the house going, etc. No answer.

He says I can call anytime for a chat but I don’t want to call, as he doesn’t pick up and it leave me feeling worse. If I block my number he will pick up. Well I did this once and he answered lol

I know it sounds confusing. I do love this guy. I don’t mind telling him that, as I do. However, anyone got some insight. I really need it!!!

I don’t want to have to remove him from facebook but if I can’t move on I may need to for my own sanity!

PS. He did tell me he didn’t know what he wanted in a relationship. I said well, if you don’t know what you want, then you don’t want what you have!” … This scared me too. I don’t want to get played. I want to be able to trust him.

Thanking you in advance

asked by Anonymous on December 11, 2009 | View profile