About a year ago, a guy friend of mine (who I dated very briefly back in high school and haven’t spoken to in years) contacted me because he was having trouble with his at the time girlfriend. He would ask my advice and even send me things that she told him. At the same time I was having problems and he helped me get through them. To make a long story short she ended up breaking up with him (they dated for 3 years I believe) and began dating someone new shortly there after. After that he would text me all the time to talk and hang out. We would go bowling, putt-putt, movies, out to lunch, (things friends do). Eventually he brought up having a sexual relationship and I told him I wasn’t really into doing that and avoided the topic whenever he brought it up. A few months later we did end up having sex and continued having a sexual relationship for 5 months. While this was going on, he would constantly hug me, kiss me, ask me to spend the night, force me to cuddle with him afterwards, tell me I’m the best looking girl (basically anything a person who was interested in starting a relationship would say to someone) and text me all the time just to see how I was doing and how my day was. At first I was very standoffish because I didn’t want to get my hopes up (and thought that he was just doing this stuff to get into my pants). But every time I saw him even if we didn’t have sex, he would act like he wanted to be with me so I ended up falling for him. I told him how I felt and he said that he liked me, that I was a good person, but he didn’t think he could ever love me. He admitted he was starting to get attached to me even though he knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere. He said he wasn’t over his ex, that he was an emotional wreck, and that he just needed to feel close to someone. I told him I was done with the sexual relationship and didn’t know if we could still be friends. He practically begged me to still be friends with him and that we should hang out when he no longer was so f***ed in the head. I guess my question is, Does this guy have feelings for me even though he says he doesn’t because he’s worried about either starting a new relationship and getting hurt again or he thinks he and his ex might get back together (even though she’s dating someone) or something because things just don’t seem to add up to me. You don’t contact someone out of the blue; hang out all the time, act like you want a relationship, and then just stop. Maybe I’m just naive and am hoping for something but I would really like other people’s opinions.
Hi,
I’m the owner of the site, I typically try to keep my opinions out of the way, but it’s been a while, so I figured I’d give my insight.
It sounds like he doesn’t want anything, and you should save yourself the immediate headache and move on. If something is to happen, it will. Trust that. If you want somebody to tell you otherwise, I feel you’d be doing yourself injustice.
Relationships are difficult, with or without sexual interaction. I don’t think he’s your man right now. This is your opportunity to walk away, and I’d do it while you still can cleanly.