They talk 3 or 4 times a week, text each other, and even e-mail each other. I asked her if she still talks to him and she told me that he calls once a month, but she never answers the phone. her ex lives out of town why did she lie to me?
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Sounds like bad news. If they were close for a long time and recently broke up with a minimum of bad blood between them, then it may be understandable that they would keep up some level of communication, just to check in and make sure the other is holding up ok, but the deceit probably indicates that there are some suspect motives at play.
You can call her out on the lie, but it sounds like you’ve been spying on her, so be prepared for her to throw that back at you, saying you invaded her privacy and don’t trust her and all that. If he’s really far away (more than a few hours’ drive) and you don’t perceive him as a practical threat, it may not be worth bringing it up until you have some solid evidence of intent – you don’t want to appear too jealous or possessive, so maybe play it cool and don’t tip your hand until you have something real to go on. If you let her know you’re keeping tabs on her, she’ll just switch up her game, and then you won’t even know to what extent she’s lying to you. I don’t generally advocate spying, but since it seems you’re already hip-deep in it, that’s how I’d recommend proceeding.
For what it’s worth, I’m married and I still keep sporadic contact with some of my exes – the occasional book/album recommendation or catch-up message every few months, but the lying and the frequency of their contact seems like a genuine cause for concern.
Because she thinks you will freak out about it and go all crazy.
not good in my opinion
that is not a good sign
my fiance and her ex keep in touch because they have a child together. They talk almost every day and I don’t have an issue with that part of it. I found out recently that he was on the phone begging her to come back. She told me that he does that all the time. I got upset with her because i think it’s a basic disrespect for me and the relationship we’re in that she will listen for 30 minutes to his babble. My suggestion to her was to make it clear that she wasn’t going to tolerate that type of conversation anymore. I’m pretty frustrated that i even had to point that out to her. She feels as if i’m acting like a jerk about it. I’m thinking of calling it off because this seems like a red flag for me. At the same time, i don’t want to overreact. I’ve thought about this for a few days. I clearly don’t have an issue with her communicating about their child, but i just think this type of conversation is not appropriate. Am i overreacting?
@ #5
im going threw the same thing with my girl, she has a kid with her ex and i found out when they talk he keeps telling her he loves her, and wants her back. I dont care if they talk, as long as they talk about the kid, anything more then that pisses me off..
She gets mad at me telling me im paranoid and jealous for no reason, i think its just disrespectfull to sit there and listen to him talk like that, without making him stop when she is with me..
i dont know what to do about it either, i love the woman but her and her ex talking just pisses me off.
If you aren’t out by now, you have some hard lessons coming…..She’s hanging on…….Put on the steel toed boots and kick a field goal……
ok so i’ve been with my girl about 7 months and her ex keeps texting her and calling her the problem is they work togther and she needs his help at times..she keeps telling me i have nothing to worrie about that she has no feelings for him but i get so pissed with him calling and texting her..like today i thought i was been nice and popping up at her job as i puilled up i seen the 2 of them going to lunch togther so i sat in my car and waited when they got back she just went back into work..she told me it was just a bussiness lunch and he was helping her am i freaking out over nothing
Please guys help. My girlfriend keeps communicating with her two ex’s. I happened to see messages in her inbox. In one message she was appreciating one ex that he is cute. In another message she is berging another boyfriend that they must chat. When I asked her about this she said that happened when we were fighting about about the fact that she got involved with me about a month before she broke up with her ex. She admitted that she misses her ex’s from time to time especially when we have some differences. Sometimes she tells me her ex was very clever and she was advising her on many issues. I think she doesnt love me enough.