My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 months. Everything started out great, but maybe a bit too fast.
We had begun to distance, I feel responsible for that, I had been hiding some things, nothing with another person but some things, which I have since admitted to.
About a week ago, She told me she needed space, She’s taking an important board exam and feels that this relationship is taking study time from her, I agree with that and told her right now our relationship should not be her main priority,
But then she said that she does not see herself with me in the future and that she sees her ex, and has recently started having feelings about him,
She has not seen him in a long time, he lives in a different country, but after she told me she needed space she has talked to him.
She still text me everyday and we have hung out twice, the second time we hung out ended in sex, and about a 2 hour conversation where I said the whole space thing has been good for me too, I’ve been able to focus on other things aside from this relationship,
when we go out she still holds my arm,
She says though that she can’t keep going with me until she sees her ex, and finds out if her feelings are true,
Her family lives where her ex lives, and she will be traveling there in a couple of months.
I have known this girl for 5 years and I have always felt like she was the one,
We are great together, I truly love her,
Her happiness is number 1 to me, but In a selfish way I do want her happiness to be with me.
I’m not sure how to approach this situation, and what I should or shouldn’t do.
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1. you haven’t completely broken up, you just had sex again
2. maybe she’s thinking enagement and marriage because she started thinking about her ex and is comparing to you..
question: who would she rather see herself long-term with.
I’m thinking: she doesn’t want a break, she wants a next step and wants to figure out who with more.
truth: it is hard to study for exams with a boyfriend. I distance too when I need to get some serious stuyding done. it works, some people can balance well, some people can’t
truth: you deserve to be selfish on this one. snap some sense into the girl.
she’s from another country? she’s taking exams? is she going back? is she taking exams for this country and that country? get things straight. my opinion is she’s thinking.. where am I going to be in the long-term of things. you might have just been the guy to occupy her time while she was here. get things straight.
just re-read.. you’ve known her for 5 years. 5 years! are you going to propose? you love her. how old are you? don’t say you like being separated. say you miss her and can’t believe you want to separate. play your “I can’t believe you did this. you should be sorry” card “after all we’ve had”. let her study but not like you broke up.. no expectation or pressure but not broken up, just comfortable space. she went to her ex because she still wants a guy there for her.
I say you need to step up and find out what’s really going on. 7 months and she’s like.. “well, I don’t know..” I say not good enough.
have you talked about marriage, long-term, and what you want. if you did then you should be mad right now. 7 months might be early, I don’t know, but think about age and where she is in school.
what’s up with the ex. something happened they reconnected or they never quit each other. how long ago was the ex the ex.
My thoughts would be that she has some feelings for you, but she’s not sure exactly what they are. I think by bringing her ex into the equation is a way of telling you that she’s not sure about her relationship with you. Women typically use the line ‘I need space’ as a way to let a guy down easy. It sounds like that’s what she’s trying to do.
Everyone has their issues, and she might have a fear of being hurt by you. And I know you’re thinking ‘there’s no reason for her to think this’. Well, you know that, and on some level so does she, but some people will figure out ways to sabotage their relationships. Sad but true.
I really hope it works out for you. If she discovers that she has feelings for her ex and she tells you this, she just did you a favor. I know that sucks, I’ve been there, but at least she was honest with you. If she comes back, you just hit the jackpot. Good luck.
I have a big problem guys my ex gf of 3 years tells me that she needs her space I actully cheated on her in our first year but she got back with me now she’s telling me she feels scarred and she tells me she needs space and I recently found on on her facebook that she talks to other guys please guys I need advice to save what we have