Open Relationship Advice, Sex/Dating Advice, Marriage Advice, One Night Stands, Infidelity | Remember Guys Cry Too!

why is it that girls like to talk a lot and guys don’t.. wait, let me rephrase that, why is that girls like to write a lot and guys don’t reply much but they have a lot to say in person and look like they really like to be listened to? I’m seeing guys come sit next to me, talk to me, tell me about life, what’s going on, stories about things, but write-backs vs in-person talking doesn’t happen much. just an observation. it’s like I can only catch them in person

Going out with a guy. He won’t pick up the tab. Won’t call it a date. Asks me to the movies. I’m not going to go if I don’t know what it is, so I won’t go. So technically I’m not seeing him and I’m single. Liked him a bit in the beginning, but this would drive anyone away, doesn’t matter if the guy is a hottie or just average. He doesn’t know how to treat a girl unless he really honestly isn’t looking for something. I don’t like that he is against “taking” a girl out, did get into that spiel about not paying for dates way early. So I consider us technically not dating and hang out less. Why ruin chances with other guys? He gets upset I won’t go to the movies or get together much. It’s not like he’s student poor, the guy drops cash on everything else. And he texts me a ton. We’re classmates too so it’s not like I’m going to cut communication. But it is very awkward going places to eat. Even if my order is like 2 or 3 dollars, and his like 10, he won’t pick it up. Leaves people looking at us kinda weird-like. That alone is enough for me to not want to hang out with him. He won’t even pick up a cup of tea at the coffee shop. Regular guy friends pick up tea if we run into each other, this guy is weird! So I do the “hey, cool. no, I got stuff to do, catch you later” and he asks why I won’t go to the movies with him. Seriously? I did like him. You can’t use the “girls just want to use guys” tactic, but seriously this is way off, game isn’t played that way. And yes, it’s a game, the dating game, it’s supposed to be fun, not awkward. What rock has this guy been living under?

this guy out of the blue, haven’t heard or talked with him for eight or nine months, texts me and wants to hang out. he had a girlfriend then and we were just friends through friends, no big deal. eight months later and single he comes out of the blue, out of nowhere. he had kept my number in his phone. I texted the next day, and it looks like he disappeared. It was so weird! I don’t know. he said we should get together sometime and then the next day I start texting, no reply. It was really weird. he’s really cute. I don’t know. literally out of nowhere. should I do anything? he hasn’t replied back and its been a day or two. no idea

My friend transferred schools. We used to study together, off and on. We parted kinda not good but made up. It was about drifting apart. He thought I left, I thought he left. So then the question becomes how often to keep in touch.

So what’s a good place to meet nice guys? Not like bars or anything. Starbucks? Definitely not dating sites!

In grad school, but the guys tend to actually be either married and/or older or in the divorced category, sorry divorced sounds like too much for me.

just curious what you would all say.

I’M dating?/seeing a guy and he keeps talking about his ex. we’ve been going out for 2 months, he had gotten out of a long-term relationship and had lived with her. first she tried to contact him, he didn’t respond. now he is trying to keep friendship. I’m not comfortable with this but I don’t feel comfortable telling him I don’t approve of keeping an ex as a friend, it doesn’t look like she wants to keep him anymore though.

ALSO adding that it feels more like a friendship and interest, but not something that may become a relationship.. its just that we spend so much time together. I enjoy the company, just really turned off by the stories about the ex and their life together.. I think he may see us as dating, I can’t tell, and I don’t want to initiate a ‘talk’.. we spend a lot of time together..I see nothing wrong with friendship.. we haven’t crossed any boundaries that would suggest more, mostly just learned more about each other’s lives, but we’re at an age where we should probably be thinking of dating to find someone to marry or form a serious relationship with.. at least that’s how I feel.. we’re not in high school.

ONE more thing.. he mentioned that his friends speculated that he may be bisexual. I admit I am naive and things like that are hard to grasp, but I can’t ignore that he has mentioned this more than once (he actually does talk more about the ex.. sometimes it feels like its a cover and sometimes it makes me almost forget he might be bisexual)… he either jokes/talks about it or focuses on a lot of stories about his ex (sometimes fond memories, he doesn’t paint a bad/or mean picture, he reminisces in positive light.. but says they very much didn’t match and it wasn’t healthy).. he keeps constant contact with me by phone, email, text, and in-person..we talk about normal everyday things too.

WE have a friendship I could see keeping it.. I can see we aren’t quite progressing to girlfriend/boyfriend and he clearly has issues with his past, he is telling me quite a bit though about his family and emotional baggage. I just don’t want to find that this prevents me from finding an amazing guy that can be a wonderful boyfriend for me.. I know his relationship was with a girl.. I’m wondering if all this emotional unloading is to feel if I’m accepting of him.. I’m content with this friendship, but I’m a woman.. I want to meet a man that can one day be a main part of my life.

I KNOW I can’t accept a relationship with a man who may be bisexual even though he may not or seem not to act on it.. that would be too damaging, and I am happy to know about this early on.. even if he has never said outright that this is the case, but that his friends say this of him.. and leaves it to interpretation

I KNOW that it is very rude to talk about an ex in the presence of a date so I consider myself not dating him but being invited places as just a friend

I JUST wonder what people think and what I should do.. him and I are classmates too, we have a few classes together but not all of them.. our school is somewhat small too

I THINK I feel that he talks about his ex in excess to hide the fact that his friends (outside of school.. maybe in-school too, I don’t really know about the in-school, I don’t initiate conversations about him with others) say he may be bisexual .. why do I still have difficulty with this.. I’m not in love with him, I know that.. I just think it would be more respectful if he didn’t tell me all the stories, we actually haven’t known each other that long.. but at the same time I feel nice to be trusted as a friend and that he can share his issues with me.. I imagine other would have been fed up with all the emotional baggage unloading but I feel solid as a friend and a person that can be trusted.. just .. I feel something missing in my life.. like I need to refocus on me.. I don’t have any issues remotely close to what he has, I could almost/or probably say I’ve clean-slate and why should I take on his problems.. I think I need to re-focus on the importance of me and what would be good for me.. does this make sense? what would you think or do?

MAYBE I resolved some of the problem by writing this.. I know we can’t be an item.. there are some issues that I can’t compromise in a relationship.. I know that I respect him as a person and his feelings.. I guess I want to know how best to keep a friendship but not let myself close to possibility of finding someone that would be a good boyfriend for me that may turn into the start of a life together..

HELP me get perspective.. I think I just want opinions. I did gain more perspective when writing this though, I feel better. It’s easier to go just day to day and not evaluate things, writing and reading what I write can definitely be a bit more of a real-life wake up call.. but please write, thanks.

I AM hoping there’s a nice guy out there. I don’t want to settle.. I know life is compromise between two people.. but I don’t feel this one is right.. how can I refocus on me?
… I like the last line before submitting an entry.. it reads: I Agree Not To Be An Idiot, lol.. well done